Tuesday, April 29, 2008

i can never know

something that hundreds of thousands of other fine people know: what it is like to relocate to portland.

being one of an increasingly uncommon passel of folks who were actually spawned and reared in this place, means i am surrounded by a whole mad herd of people who came here on purpose. and i feel lucky. because i want to spend the rest of my life here. it's like being in an arranged marriage where you actually happen to be madly in love with the partner someone else chose for you.

but i know i have missed out on some quintessential "uprooting an entire life" type experiences. and the bravery and faith required for such a leap is almost unfathomable to me. there have been no tarps secured over a pickup full of belongings. no dark nights of driving to a new town without a clear sense of how living there will feel. i have never had to get to know a new town. i have never had to discover the best route to anywhere, because i have always known it. i have never been presented with such a remarkable chance to create a tale about my life in surroundings unfamiliar to me.

and this seems like something i want to experience. but i cannot imagine bringing myself to go elsewhere just to feel it.

and it is always one of the first questions i ask: what made you choose this place? of all the places? what was it like to come here from wherever it was you came? what drew you here and what do you miss about where you're from. and what was the most fundamental change you underwent to become a portlander at last?

i imagine it is a journey that changes a person. hilarity and loneliness must ensue. the magic of this place is not lost on me for a moment, but i will never know the magic of this place as a stranger must.

1 comment:

Todd Stadler said...

Having been here for over 10 years, I've kind of lost the outsider's view as well.

I think the best way to experience it is either to play host to someone new to the area or visiting, or to travel somewhere different yourself.

When I've had friends visit Portland, I see it through their eyes, having to explain things that I've assumed for years. It's usually pretty exciting to see the city like that again (and sometimes a bit humbling: I remember taking a friend to upper Hawthorne in the late 90s, thinking it was such a cool place to hang out, only to realize how small-town it can really look).

And when you go somewhere else (even when I go back home to Texas), you realize all the things you like about where you live (lots of people in Texas really don't think about recycling).

There's a lot to be said for the romance of picking up and moving, but it's also really hard. I don't think I have it in me anymore. I'm too settled.